These Tears I Shed
by TheCrimsonThatStainsMyHeart
Summary: Dreams are just a figment of the imagination, but the dream felt so real. Feeling the stab of his knife, and the pain of his face in her foggy mind. "What is love?" was the only thing she could ask. His answer, "It's what I feel for you, you baka!" OOC?


**First try at a Gakuen Alice fanfic. (: Don't like, I won't attempt any more. Like, and I might try at a whole story. It might be diffucult though. This was just out of pure lonleyness (if that is a word. or if I even spelled it right). Sigh, it's true. I was lonely. Demo...we had a big snow storm pass through and we had 2 weeks off school and I couldn't go anywhere!! Sorrie if it sucks. **

**Takes place nowhere in particular. Just came to me, and I was bored.**

**Warning: Possible OOCness. I haven't watched or read the manga in a while. I'm sorriee!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. Although, I do own this pixy stix beside me...**

_Mikan: Age 15_

_Natsume: Age 15_

_Hotaru: Age 15_

_Ruka: Age 16 (idk, I wanted him to be different xD)_

_Koko: (Not sure why I'm putting him in here. He is, after all, my favorite one...) Age 16_

_Youchi: (If that's how you spell his name. Once again, I haven't seen it in a while...) Age...let's just say he's 11, kay?_

_Tsubasa & Harada: (Who aren't even in this story) Unknown. Rofl. Oldies. Jk._

_ANYTHING IN PARENTHESIS IS AUTHOR NOTE!!!_

* * *

TheCrimsonThatStainsMyHeart

Bathing in a puddle of her own blood and being suffocated by the very air she breathed as she struggled to fight consciousness wasn't how she'd expected to die. But, here she lay, surrounded by the crimson liquid that reminded her much of her crush's eyes as they used to pierce through her own chocolate orbs when he confessed his love to her.

All of her grateful memories slipped into her mind, consuming her barely beating heart. It stung worse with every smile and laugh she shared with another. "I love you, Mikan Sakura," she recalled him whispering to her in that sexy voice.

That memory was the one she cherished the most, remembering how she said it back, stunned. "I love you, too, Natsume Hyuuga."

The murderer of the girl heard her writhing around, whimpering, "Love. Natsume...I love...you..." He chuckled darkly, licking the brunette's blood from the blade of his knife and walked away, letting the girl suffer.

Awakening by the sound of her name, she sat upright, panting and sweating. "Mikan?" she heard again.

Turning her head to the side, she saw Anna and Nonoko looking at her with worried eyes.

"What are you two doing here?" Mikan rasped out, holding her throbbing head.

"Hotaru was worried about you and sent us over," Anna replied warily, noticing her unusal behavior.

Nonoko nodded. "Yes, she practically forced us. She's really worried, Mikan."

"She was...worried?" The brown eyed girl was shocked that her usually cold and uncaring best friend was actually concerned.

"Of course. I even think I saw Natsume's ear twitch when her heard Hotaru ask where you were," they giggled.

At the sound of Natsume's name, Mikan immediately recalled the part of her dream where she had a flashback of her saying she loved him. Obviously, the dense little girl couldn't exactly understand what that was about, so she asked the two, "What is love?"

Shocked, the two stopped giggling and stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"What is love?" she repeated, not knowing exactly how to say it any clearer.

"We don't...I mean, we do...demo..." they stuttered, wondering where her question came from. "Why do you need to know?"

"Because...I just had this dream..." she trailed off, blushing.

Anna and Nonoko gave a glance at each other with their eyebrows raised. "Well, why don't you tell us about it on our way to class. I'm sure Jinno-sensei wouldn't be happy if you are late for his lesson," Nonoko stated, pushing Mikan to the bathroom. "And hurry!" she added.

After about fifteen minutes later, the brunette stepped out of the bathroom in her fresh uniform, tears streaked down her face.

"Mikan?!" they asked, rushing over to see what was upsetting her.

In her palm lay a white ribbon that she used to tie her hair in pigtails. It was ripped in half, little wet tear drops staining it. "Mikan," they whispered compassionately. They knew that the ribbons were a present from her Jii-chan, and it was almost the only thing she had of him, other than a picture of the two together.

"Let's just go," she murmured, letting her bangs cover her eyes. "I'll just leave my hair down today."

The three of them walked quickly to class, already late. They entered the door and the class was surprised to see Mikan come in with her head down, not greeting them like she usually did or apologizing for being late.

"Baka," Hotaru muttered from her seat, knowing Mikan could hear.

"Sorry for making you worry, Hotaru," she whispered, avoiding her friend's cold eyes and shuffling to her seat in the back.

The class, stunned into silence, stared at her curiously. Natsume, of course, didn't bother to even look up at the sudden quiet that washed over them or when a gloomy Mikan sat next to him.

Barging in the room, Jinno-sensei apologized gruffly, "Sorry, I'm late. Let us begin."

Everyone took their eyes off the nullifier as the teacher began the lesson, but looked out of the corner of their eye occasionally at her. Not going unnoticed by Jin-Jin, he asked rudely, "Sakura, can you do this problem on the board?"

"No," she replied bluntly, her voice slightly hoarse.

This, of course, made Jinno angry. "Sakura, I said to come and complete this problem."

Natsume finally glanced at the down brunette, only faintly regestering that she had her hair down. But, what caught his attention more were the little glistening tears that fell onto her desk.

"Sakura!" he demanded again, his patience wavering.

"Oi, baka, you're getting noisy," Natsume said, placing his hands behind his head as the side of Jinno's hair caught fire. He swatted at it, glaring menicingly at Natsume, who just smirked.

"Seven," Mikan whispered.

"Nani?" Koko asked, from a corner of the room. (I luv Koko. I had to.)

"The answer to the question. It's seven."

The fire dimmed until it became nothing, and the sensei that stood in the front of the room boiled with anger. "Yes, correct. Now as a punishment for being rude--"

"I think you were the one being rude," Hotaru interjected, defending Mikan.

"I-Imai! Don't get into this mess," Jinno warned.

"The baka is my friend. And it's obvious she's upset. I do believe that you were being the rude one," she said smoothly, her violet eyes piercing through the electricity user's.

"Tch." Jinno brushed off Hotaru and took out his metal stick swiftly, zapping Mikan before anybody had time to react.

Only this time, Mikan didn't cry loudly or beg for Hotaru's assistance. She only sat quietly, letting unknown tears fall.

"Oi, polka, you're quiet. I like it," the raven haired boy smirked, thinking that she would call him a hentai and insult him back.

Not a word escaped her lips.

"Sakura?" Ruka asked, actually wondering if it were Mikan after all.

"I'm leaving," she stood, gathering her stuff and walking out the door, hiding her eyes from everyone.

"Sakura, get back here!" Jin-Jin called.

The nullifier ignored him and continued her walk down the hall and out to Natsume's sakura tree, hoping he wouldn't follow. After a few minutes, nobody seemed to have followed, so she lay down on the soft grass and slipped into unconsciousness.

Back In The Classroom, After Jinno Left Angrily To Go Get Narumi To Set Her Straight

The classroom was filled with murmurs and whispers, all wondering what happened to the cheerful Mikan. To be honest, every single person missed her bright attitude, even Natsume. Tears didn't go good with a pretty face, he thought, but Natsume would never say that.

"What happened, Koko?" Natsume heard Yuu Tobita ask him.

"I'm not sure," he replied, his smile no longer appearing on his face. He missed his friend as much as the rest of them. "She was using nullification."

"Do you know anything Anna and Nonoko? You walked in with her," he said, messing with his glasses.

"Well, this morning, Hotaru went to send us to go check in on her because she was worried," Anna said.

"Yeah, and it seemed she was having a nightmare so we called her name about ten times before she woke up. She was sweating and panting and she held her head as if she had a headache," Nonoko added.

"We teased her a bit about how we thought that Natsume's ear twitched when he heard Hotaru ask where Mikan was. But, at the sound of his name, her eyes widened and she froze," continued Anna.

"Then suddenly, she asked us what love was!" they shouted in unison, surprising everybody.

"D-Does that m-mean...she's in love with my Natsume?!" Sumire screamed furiously.

"Can't blame her," Natsume said cockily. "But that doesn't give her the right to cry."

"Cry?!" everyone shouted, except for Hotaru and Natsume himself.

"You didn't notice? The baby was bawling," he scoffed. He didn't mean to sound so rude, when all in actuality, he was the one who was most concerned.

"Well, she did break her Jii-chan's ribbon that she usually puts in her hair..." Nonoko added, as if it were an after thought.

"Nani?!" Yuu asked, appalled. "Demo...she was still much out of character. She would usually have been crying throughout class loudly. Poor Mikan-chan."

Natsume stood from his seat, placing his manga on the desk and walking casually out the door.

"Natsume-sama!" cried Sumire dramatically, clinging onto his arm. "You aren't going to look for that no-star, are you?"

"She's a special star now, baka," he stated, seeming almost as if he were defending Mikan. "Although with her grades, she could pass as a no-star. In plus, I'm not going to look for Polka. I'm going to sleep."

"Then why are you leaving your manga?" Ruka asked, holding Usagi tighter.

"I can't read when I sleep."

Ruka was silent for a few minutes as he stared at his best friend, watching him burn Sumire's hair to get her off. "Right."

Natsume nodded once to his friend, although he couldn't detect what it meant. But, as the raven haired boy walked cooly down the hall, Ruka finally caught on. Natsume was assuring his friend that he had no intentions of stealing Mikan away, even though he wasn't his to begin with. Chuckling, the animal lover murmured to himself, "You'll have her one day, Natsume. Even then, I won't stop fighing for her."

"Did you say something, Nogi?" Hotaru asked him.

He smiled widely at her. "Nope. Not a word."

She eyed him, but looked away and continued the conversation with her friends as they fussed over Mikan's character change.

At The Sakura Tree As Mikan Slept Peacefully

Walking toward the sakura tree he usually sleeps in, Natsume spotted a figure, slumped over in sleep herself.

"Polka?" he asked, but soon, smirked. "Or kuro nekos. Should have known."

"Na...Natsume?" he heard her angelic voice whisper, groggy from sleep.

"Do you always stutter when saying my name, kuro neko?"

She chuckled once without humor. "Hentai."

"...You're making everybody worry, baka," he whispered, covering his eyes with his bangs as he sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry. Why did you follow me here, anyway?" She rubbed her eyes, yawning and streching.

"I didn't. I came out here to take a nap. You just happened to be in the way," the crimson-eyed boy said.

"Natsume...am I really that much of a burden on you and Hotaru and everyone else?" she asked, looking at the cloudy sky that complimented her mood.

"Is that what you've been thinking, neko?"

"No, but I had a dream..." she trailed off, blushing at how silly she sounded.

"You know, dreams aren't always true."

"Oh, I see." Suddenly tears pricked around the egdes of her chocolatey brown orbs.

"...Are you crying?" he asked her, a hint of amusement showing in his voice.

She whipped her head to the other side, away from him. "No," she replied, obviously lying.

"You suck at lying, baka."

"Can I...tell you about it?" she hesitated.

"Hn," was his reply.

"Well, I was...I was dying," she started.

"Why were you dying?" The mere thought of her being sent to death filled his heart with grief.

"Some guy hurt me. I don't know how...I can't remember." Mikan squeezed her eyes tight, trying to remember the foggy nightmare. "Demo...I was laying in a pool of my own blood and eveybody's faces started to come up. Hotaru's...Anna's...Permy's and Koko's...Nonoko's and Yuu's...Tsubasa-senpai's...Narumi's...Jii-chan's...everybody...and..." she gulped. "Your's, Natusme," her voice cracked on his name. (Sorry for all of these dots. I don't usually write like that xD. Demo...that's how I imagined it and I wanted you to get the picture.)

"What's so special about mine? You sound like you were going to cry when you said my name." (That line hardly made sense to me, too. Demo, I couldn't think of another way to write it xl)

"Because yours was the most special. But with your face came a scene, no, a flashback," the brunette blushed.

Natusme stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue. "That it? Is that what you were crying about, neko?"

"No," she whispered, her blush deepening. Unfortunately for her, it didn't go unnoticed from the curious flame caster.

"Are you blushing?"

"No!" she quickly replied.

"..."

"Yes...demo...you don't know why..."

"Ah."

"...Do you really want to know?" she asked quietly.

"I figured you would tell me anyway," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear.

"Why are you being so rude? I'm getting ready to tell you something I haven't told anyone else and you're being a jerk!" the nullifyier pouted.

_It seems as if the old Mikan is coming back_, Natsume thought._ Maybe if I just tease her a little bit more, she might call me a hentai and whine to Hotaru. Then things would be back to normal. At least, what we call normal..._

"Whatever, Polka."

"Why can't you be like the Natsume in my dream?!" yelled an upset Mikan.

"Because fairy tales don't exist, Princess."

"You're so inconciderate!" she wailed.

"I didn't know that word was in your small vocabulary." The insults came as easy as lighting a flame on the tip of his finger.

"Shut up, Natsume! You're such a...such a bastard! I hate you!"

Shocked at Mikan's burst, he turned his head to see her's lowered, her brown bangs hanging in front of her eyes. Even though they were covered, Natsume could see the wet tears that streamed down her face. He felt his face soften.

"Polka..."

"I wish you were like the Natsume in my dream! I wish you would say you loved me!" she blurted, not knowing what she was saying. As it registered in her mind though, she placed a hand over her lips and darted away from the scene.

"Mikan," the crimson eyed boy said loudly. "Mikan!"

As he raced after her, Hotaru and the others still talked away.

"I hope she's okay," Sumire murmured.

Everybody froze, especially Koko. For as long as he had known Mikan and Sumire, he's never heard something nice come from her mouth directed toward her. "N-Nani?! Sumire?!" Koko yelled, getting over his shock well. Even though he was surprised, a smile still graced his features.

"Don't get used to it," she growled, popping a vein.

"R-Right..."

"How kind, Sumire," Yuu smiled at her.

"Humph."

"Do you think Natsume went after Mikan?" The question came for Ruka, who stood with his bunny pressed tightly to his chest.

"Of course. Although the baka doesn't realize it, she cares for Natsume as much as he cares for her. She's bound to tell him what is upsetting her," the violet-eyed inventor said.

"...Yeah," he muttered, his blue eyes seeming to dim.

Hotaru noticed this and looked over at him. "Nogi...Go after her."

"N-Nani?! Why?"

"If you care that much for Mikan, then you would go after her," she told him, looking away. Hotaru had no intentions of letting him see the look in her eyes. (Can you guess what it was? No, not love!)

"..."

"What are you still standing there for? Go," she practically ordered.

"Imai..." Ruka trailed off.

"What, baka?"

There was a short pause before he replied. "Are you blushing?"

Back Outside, As Natsume Chased After Mikan

"Mikan!" Natsume repeated, catching up easily.

"Go away!" Mikan screamed, her tears falling behind her and hitting the flame caster's arms.

"Damn it, Polka! Stop!" Successfully, he grabbed her arm and turned her toward him. Guilt spashed through him as he stared at her sorrowful face as she tilted her head down.

"What? I already spilled my guts, you don't have to come and embarrass me!" she shouted, pulling her arm back.

"You want to know what love is, right?!" he yelled, remembering the story Nonoko and Anna told.

Mikan said nothing, but wondered how he knew.

"It's what I feel for you, you baka!" Rain began to pour heavily down, mixing with his few tears that were wet and hot down his face.

Once again, Mikan was silent. Her brain raced as she finally understood everything. Every comment, every insult, every whisper and every tear was a sign of affection, while it still covered up his pride. "Natsume," she chocked on his name.

"Shut up. You don't have to say anything," he muttered, hoping wholeheartedly she would tell him she loved him back, even though he thought it was in vain.

She ignored him, trying to meet his crimson orbs. "Natsume...I lo--" she chocked. She couldn't say it. Not now, at least.

_She what? Loathes me? Loves me? _thought the flame caster.

"I can't say it," the brunette whispered to herself. "Why can't I?! Natsume, meet me at my room at five thrity. I'll tell you then. I just...can't say it."

"Why?" he asked, his voice not revealing any emotion.

"I don't know! Just...please, I have to say it, or else I won't be able to move on!" she yelled, getting out of his grasp and running toward the special star building.

"...Mikan..."

Back In The Class, Where Everybody Still Chatted Away

"Mikan Sakura! Where is she?" Jinno-sensei's voice was heard, startling the kids as he bursted back in the door, Narumi behind him with a worried look on his face.

"She left, obviously. You were there," Hotaru said.

"Nani?! Where is my kawaii student?!" Narumi cried, over-dramatic.

"She went out to the sakura tree, but now she's in her room, crying," Koko finally said.

"Why is she crying?" Anna whispered.

He paused, his smile fading. "I can't tell. She was only weak for a few seconds. I think she felt me poking in her mind. But, the only thing I did get was that Natsume held onto her arm in the rain and said to her, 'It's what I feel for you, you baka!' I guess that's what she was upset about."

"No," Hotaru said. "There has to be something else."

"But what?" Nonoko asked.

"I don't know."

"Whoa, that's the first time I've ever heard those words come from your mouth, Imai," a fimiliar voice said from the doorway.

"Shut it, Hyuuga," she snapped. "Isn't it your fault she's crying anyway?"

He froze, but recomposed himself and walked to sit in the back of the room. "Tch."

"Ouch. So cold-hearted," Kitsunume (I can't remember how to spell his name, and I'm far too lazy to look) winced, then chuckled.

"Shut up," Nonoko hit him lightly on the head. "He's upset, too. I bet he thinks it's his fault."

"It is!" he retorted, holding his head.

Unfortunately, Natsume heard him and lit his hair as he stood with his bangs covering his eyes, and walked out of the room, a dark aura emitting from him.

"Now look what you did," the blue-haired girl scolded.

"Oi...Gomen, Natsume!" he called.

"Baka," Nonoko scoffed. (OOC much? Gomenasai. xP)

Over With Natsume, Who Sat Under The Sakura Tree With Youchi In His Lap

"Oi, nii-san," You-chan said in his monotone voice.

"Hn."

"Where's the old hag?" he asked, looking out at the rain that poured around them. Luckily for them, the tree they sat under was like a canopy, so they didn't get wet.

"Why do you care?"

The little gray haired boy paused and turned to stare at his nii-san. "Why do you?"

Natsume's eyes widened as he glanced at the boy in his lap. "I don't...know."

"Ah."

_How does he understand me more than I do myself?!_ Natsume asked himself.

"What time is it?" You-chan asked.

"It's about five, why?"

The boy smirked. "Don't you have a date in about thirty minutes?"

"You were spying on us?" Natsume was appalled, but it didn't show in his voice, although his eyes were still wide.

"No, you two were fighting when I passed. It was pretty amusing, so I followed you until she left."

"So that's why you were still out in the rain when I found you." The crimson-eyed boy placed a hand on his head and smiled a small smile, which quickly disappeared.

"Hn," the gray-haired child replied.

"Let's go to your dorm," Natsume ordered, picking up You-chan and dashing toward the two-star building. (Is that what star You-chan is?)

By the time they entered the doors, they were soaked, head to toe. Youchi wasn't as wet though, as he clung to his onii-chan's body for warmth. A shiver rippled through him as Natsume began to walk, and the flame caster held him tighter.

The raven haired boy seemed to be almost panting as they got to You-chan's room. "Onii-chan? Am I getting heavy?"

"No. I'm fine," he brushed it off, setting him down and throwing a blanket on his head. "Change. I'm leaving."

"Are you going to go see that ugly ape?" the gray haired boy asked as he threw off his shirt.

Covering his eyes with his bangs, he smirked slightly. "Yeah."

Out In The Rain, As Natsume Ran To Get Back To The Special Star Dorm, Already Late

The rain began to pour harder down on the crimson eyed boy as he ran with all his might to Mikan's room. It wasn't too far from where he was previously, but he was really curious as to what Mikan had to say.

"Natsume?" he heard a voice whisper from beside him as he finally made it in the building.

He froze. "Polka...? I thought I was supposed to meet you in your room."

"You were, but you were late, so I was going to go and look for you," she admitted, a cute blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Baka."

"I'm sorry for actually caring!"

Natsume was silent and followed the brunette back to her room. As they entered, Mikan quickly shut the door and pushed Natsume up on it. (Nothing's going to get all hot and steamy, by the way. And I didn't really mean push up on the door like, 'Oh, I want you!' Kind of way. No, gross. Lol. Sorry for that xD)

"Mi-Mikan?!" he asked, schocked.

Her lips crashed to his suddenly as her arms entangled around his neck. His wide crimson eyes closing, he fell into the kiss, moving his lips with hers and placing warm hands on her delicate hips.

Mikan was the one who broke the passionite kiss, placing her head on his chest. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Demo...I hope that helped show my feelings toward you. I love you, Natsume Hyuuga. I'm sorry I couldn't have said it any time earlier. I just guess I'm that dense."

"Stop apologizing, baka. I...I love you, too," he whispered gently, finally admitting his feelings.

"Thank the heavens! I thought I was crazy when you told me love was what you felt for me!"

"You are crazy, but don't expect me to be all mushy and sweet like I just was," he scoffed, letting go of her.

"Don't worry," she giggled, taking his hand and leading him to her kitchen so she can made them dinner, "I don't"

Back In The Class Room, Where Ruka And Hotaru Fought As The Others Watched Silently

"You were blushing!" Ruka yelled, pointing a finger at her.

"You're derranged," she scoffed. "Baka."

"Whatever," he mumbled, drawing a finger back. "I saw what I did. You were blushing. Right guys?" he asked his classmates.

They all saw it as well, but Hotaru threw them a piercing glare that made them shrink and dash out the door.

The blonde chuckled. "It doesn't matter. But I do need that video of me singing to Usagi, though."

"Why? It will get me plenty rabbits," she said, yen signs appearing in her eyes.

"Because I have a picture of your blush. I guess this camera Mikan bought me was useful, after all," he replied cooly, leaning aganst the wall with a hand in his pocket, tossing the camera up and catching it repeatedly with his other hand.

Hotaru yelled, somewhat out of character. "NOGI!!"

In Mikan's Kitchen Where They Ate Peacefully

"Did you hear something?" Mikan asked Natsume, placing another piece of food in her mouth.

"No," he replied, enjoying the food, even though his face didn't show any emotion.

"It sounded like...Hotaru's voice."

He snorted. "You're derranged, Polka. Oh wait, I forgot. Kuro neko."

"Natsume no hentai!!" she wailed.

* * *

**Phew, not my best work. Well, it was, but it could have been better. I guess I'm just too lazy to go back through and add some things. Gomenasai!!**

**Okizzie. I didn't want to end it there, honestly. Demo...I still am curious as to how many reviews I get :P **

**Review (: they make the world spin!!**

**(:**

**If you do, I might actually write more Gakuen Alice stuff :O shocking, isn't it?! Well, that would only be once I finish with my Twilight story. I'm pretty sure most of you know what that is.**

**You're review can be half-hearted for all I care (but I prefer the nicer ones that point out what they liked more in the story so I know what to write more about.)**

**But, if I don't get 10 reivews by the time I'm finished with my Twilight fanfiction, I will never post on Gakuen Alice again and save all the trouble. Although, I did have an idea for a funny little one shot...but if people no likey, then I'll just re-write the names and make it for Ouran High School Host Club. (That anime is so KAWAII!! The homo twins r my fav!! Especially Hikaru...yumm...) (:**

**Good day.**

**(:**

**(REvIEw...Kay?)**


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